Hush Buddy

Bedtime Fading

admin — Wed, 12 May 2021 18:49:56 +0000

Bedtime Fading

How long should your child sleep? Here’s a way to find out.

By SCOTT HANSON

Does it seem like your child just isn’t tired at bedtime? I don’t mean that they’re stalling and bargaining. I mean they just aren’t at all sleepy.

If so, you might want to give bedtime fading a try.

The idea of bedtime fading, or sleep fading, is pretty simple: If your child is really tired at bedtime, it will be easier to get them to sleep. So the goal is to find their body’s “natural” bedtime.

It can be transformative, but admittedly, it involves a bit of sleep deprivation for them at the start.

It’s also a great tool if your child seems have a sleep regression setback.

“If your child is really tired at bedtime, it will be easier to get them to sleep.”

HOW BEDTIME FADING WORKS

The process is this:

Move bedtime 30 minutes later each night until you notice your child is tired and ready to sleep
Be sure they wake up at the same time each morning. Given the later bedtime, they may be royal grumpizoids the first few days.
Don’t let them nap past 4 p.m.
Keep this routine for several days so that they adjust to going to sleep more quickly.
Make bedtime earlier again by 15 minutes each night until you’re back where you want bedtime to be, OR your child begins to resist bedtime again.

You’ve just pinpointed your child’s natural bedtime!

AN EXAMPLE OF BEDTIME FADING

Jack is 3 years old. He wakes up at 7 a.m. for preschool, naps an hour in the afternoon, and has an 8 p.m. bedtime.

But at bedtime, Jack stalls. He begs for more stories, and gets out of bed over and over after his parents leaves the room. Sometimes it’s 9:30 before he’s down.

When Jack’s parents move bedtime to 8:30 p.m. things stay the same. They move it to 9 p.m. and see a change. Now, his eyes are drooping at bedtime. He stops coming out of his room and falls asleep in minutes.

Jack’s parents continue to wake him up at 7 a.m., which Jack isn’t very happy about. They’re careful to wake him from his nap by 4 p.m. And they continue to push bedtime to 9 p.m. again for several nights.

Jack seems to have the hang of it now. No more coming out of his room!

So now it’s time to fade bedime back to where it was, or as close as possible.

So the next night, bedtime is at 8:45 p.m. and goes smoothly. The night after that, 8:30 p.m. Again, it’s fine. But when bedtime moves to 8:15 p.m. Jack starts to be restless again and coming out of his room.

Jack’s natural bedtime is 8:30 p.m. Bedtime is easier, and everyone is getting more sleep.

If your toddler is fussy at bedtime, give bedtime fading a try. Let us know how it goes!

And to tighten up your bedtime routine, check out our article How to Get Your Toddler to Sleep.

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(AND YOU!)

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Daylight Savings Time and Bedtime

admin — Sun, 07 Mar 2021 03:12:58 +0000

Daylight Savings Time & Bedtime

4 ways to help your toddler adjust to the time change

By SCOTT HANSON

Whenever it’s time to “Spring Forward” and “Fall Back” in and out of Daylight Savings Time, the parents of small children shake their heads because they know what’s coming. They can already hear their child asking “Why do I have to go to bed when it’s still light out?”

At Hush Buddy, we’re devoted to helping toddlers get more sleep, so we advise parent to try one of these 4 strategies to help kids adjust. Just select whichever one is best for your family:

Option 1: Adjust Your Toddler Gradually

Begin the week before the time change and shift your child’s bedtime, wake time and nap time by 15 minutes a day. In the spring, you would shift all those time earlier. In the fall, you would be adjusting the time 15 minutes later each day.

So, in the spring, you’d gradually change an 8:00 bedtime to 7:00, and then when you move the clocks ahead an hour, Voila! Bedtime is back to 8:00.

Option 2: Tough it out

You’re likely to have a grumpy child for a while. But one option is to make the switch cold turkey. Some parents are forced to do this because the Daylight Savings Time change sneaks up on them. If that happened to you, you can make the best of it by doubling down on consistency. If you stick to your normal consistent bedtime routine throughout, your little one will adjust more quickly. When it doubt, consistency, consistency, consistency!

If you choose to tough it out, you might want to sharpen your bedtime skills. Our article How to Get Your Toddler to Sleep is a great place to start.

Option 3: Control the light in your child’s room

You can buy a set of black out curtains at just about any home improvement store, and blocking out the sun can help at night and naptime by helping your little one forget that it’s still light outside. You can still have warm, amber colored nightlights like Whisper, the Hush Buddy to help set a comforting environment. But you’ve removed the melatonin-blocking blue light from outside.

Conversely, when it’s time to be awake, open the curtains to let natural light in or turn on lights.

“Every morning, as soon as the sun rises, let all the bells in every church be set ringing; and if that is not sufficient, let cannon be fired in every street, to wake the sluggards effectually, and make them open their eyes to see their true interest.”

-Ben Franklin in a never published satiric piece on Daylight Savings Time

Option 4: Ignore the clock, follow the sun

If your little one doesn’t have to be up at a certain time, say, for preschool, then you have the freedom of simply ignoring what the clock says and following the sun. You’re keeping bedtime the same according to their body clock. In the spring, for example, bedtime and wake times would shift an hour later according to the clock on the wall, but be the same according to their body clock. You can then take your time to gradually adjust the times to whatever’s convenient for you.

As they curse Ben Franklin for promoting Daylight Savings Time, we remind parents that bedtime always benefits from consistency. Bedtime should be the same steps every night, done the same way every night. As we adjust the time, that’s even more important. Your child (and you!) will get more sleep as a result!

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Make Sure You Fill Your Tank

admin — Fri, 19 Feb 2021 18:07:20 +0000

Make Sure You Fill Your Tank

You can't give what you don't have

By EDWARD DANYO

Being a single dad of a child that never slept, I constantly felt drained…and even when my energy cup was empty, I still had to function as a competent parent. I had zero time for myself and even felt guilty when I wanted just 5 minutes of “me time.” Can any of you relate?

Back then I had zero clue the importance of personal resilience and I think both of us suffered because of it. It took me a long time to realize that all sacrifices weren’t noble. In fact, if I could do it all over again, I’d make sure I took time to (selflessly) recharge my own batteries.

In the article, “How to Manage Exhaustion When Your Kid Just Won’t Sleep,” Healthline provides a great list of options to help refill your dwindled energy cup! Here are a few of my personal favorites for to consider:

“Bedtime routines aren’t just for kids; they provide a pattern that your body will come to recognize as your sleep time cue.”

Challenge your assumptions! Consider outsourcing your lawn maintenance or using a meal service company on occasion. If you do the math on gas, groceries, and time saved you might be surprised a bargain in outsourcing.
Leverage your support network. Do you think the grandparents would love to come over for an hour or 2 to watch the kids while you grab a well deserved nap? Extended family time creates lasting bonds and allows everyone to feel needed and useful.
Establish your own bedtime routine. Bedtime routines aren’t just for kids; they provide a pattern that your body will come to recognize as your sleep time cue. Do not allow pre-bedtime screen scrolling to become part of your pattern…your melatonin level is negatively impacted just the same as your child.
Focus only on what MUST get done. I am my own victim of an endless list of daily “to do” tasks. When you start re-evaluating what must be done vs. what you’d like to get done, it’s amazing the amount of time you can free up.
Get outside! I know this is one of the activities that rejuvenates me the most. The sun, fresh air, and a nice breeze tend to make me feel a bit more calm and relaxed. Take a frisbee with you and let the kids chase it as you sit blissfully still enjoying the moment.
Move. Move. Move. A sedentary body becomes fatigued more quickly than on doing some sort of physical activity. Learn to take 5-10 minute movement breaks during the day. Try searching YouTube for an instructional activity that interests you; maybe try something like the 5 Minute Tai Chi for Beginners video on the right.

Regardless of how you recharge, it is necessary for your healthy wellbeing. Take short opportunistic time for yourself, and both you and your child will be rewarded with a more healthy you!

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The Way to Toddler Sleep Is… Through the Stomach?

admin — Fri, 19 Feb 2021 17:01:38 +0000

The Way to Toddler Sleep is... Through the Stomach?

Tryptophan isn't just for Thanksgiving anymore!

By EDWARD DANYO

You know that feeling you get after eating that warm wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings? Ah, that comfortable sleepy time feeling that makes the couch look soft and inviting and makes your eyelids heavy as you are taking your last bite. Well, you may be able to create that same sleepy effect with your little one to help them sleep better and even longer! Nutritionist, Ilyse Schapiro, RD, and Dr. Lynelle Schneeberg, PsyD., author of Become Your Child’s Sleep Coach: The Bedtime Doctor’s 5-Step Guide have written about a surprising number of foods that might just work magic by bedtime.

“By making a snack a part of your routine, you eliminate your child stalling bedtime by saying they are hungry.”

Romper spoke with Schapiro and Dr. Schneeberg, and identified the following types of foods that may help you toddler drift off to dreamland more quickly:

Meat, Poultry, Fish & Eggs
Whole Grains
Almonds, Oats & Cherries
Fatty Fish
Dairy Products
Certain Nuts, Seeds & Beans

For a full list of sleepy time food items, check out the full article on Romper.

With that being said, there are foods that you should definitely avoid…”tea, coffee, soda, energy drinks and dark chocolate are the main culprit,” says Schneeberg. Schapiro adds that 75% of children consume caffeine (in some form) EVERY DAY! Try to eliminate caffeine at dinner to prevent any unnecessary stimulation.

Schneeberg also suggests a nutritious snack as part of your standard bedtime routine! By making it a part of your routine, you eliminate your child stalling bedtime by saying they are hungry. Further, you can ceremoniously turn off the kitchen lights and let your child know that “kitchen is closed” for the night! This is a definitive cue for bedtime.

Once that belly of food has teed up sleepy time, move on to a well run bedtime routine. Need help with that? Check out How to Get Your Toddler to Sleep.

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Screen Time and Toddler Sleep

admin — Fri, 19 Feb 2021 16:39:34 +0000

Toddler Screen Time and Sleep

Here's how much screen time is appropriate for toddlers

By EDWARD DANYO

Being a kid these days means having screen time. The “new normal” for toddlers through teens is some measure of time on digital learning platforms, as well as a baby sitting tool for parents who are stretched thin.

But what can that screen time do to their development, health and sleep?

IS SCREEN TIME BAD FOR TODDLERS?

Not always! Think of the wonderful educational and engaging resources that can be unlocked thanks to a device your can hold in your hand.

Sites like ABCmouse.com provide an extensive and interactive “pay for” service focused on children from ages 2-8. While the FREE site, e-learningforkids.org have focused on math and science lessons for grades 1 – 6. Mashable has done a nice job of compiling their favorite learning platforms as well as providing tips on how to select the best option for your child.

Now for the downside. The American Academy of Chld & Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) says too much time looking at screens can cause your child to suffer eye fatigue, behavioral issues and lack of sleep. So AACAP says your child is never too young for a screen-time plan.

HOW MUCH SCREEN TIME SHOULD MY TODDLER HAVE?

AACAP suggests the following guidelines:

Up to 18 months: Video chatting with family only
18-24 months: Watching educational programming with a caregiver
2-5 Years: Limit non-educational screen time to about an hour a day

Those are noble goals, but let’s face it. By today’s standard, 1 hour of sedentary screen time is no easy feat! You’ll need to be creative by using short strategic 10-15 minutes screen time bursts.

“Your 3-4 year old should get no more than 60 minutes of sedentary screen time daily!”

KEEP KIDS MOVING!

If kids are on screens, they’re not moving, and that’s bad.

The World Health Organization recommends 180 minutes of physical activity to get your child away from the screen and build healthy physical habits early in life. While they may get a bit cranky because they aren’t watching their favorite shows, the activity should allow your child to burn off some energy and may make bedtime a bit easier.

THE IMPACT OF SCREEN TIME ON SLEEP

In addition to limiting the screen time during the day, Hush Buddy recommends that you completely eliminate screen time at least 45 minutes prior to bedtime. Blue light devices such as tablets and smart phones limit the amount of melatonin produced, and make it much more difficult for your little one to fall asleep. We’ve compiled all our recommendation here: How to Get Your Toddler to Sleep

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My Grandchild Won’t Sleep!

admin — Fri, 19 Feb 2021 14:50:54 +0000

My Grandchild Won't Sleep!

What to do? Offer advice, or stay quiet…

By SCOTT HANSON

It’s tricky being a grandparent sometimes. You see things from a perspective your child—now a parent themselves– doesn’t. So when your grandchild doesn’t sleep or has bad sleep habits, what should you do?

First, you should know a recent study found one third of parents lie about their child’s sleep because they want to be seen as perfect parents. As grandparents, you see things more realistically. But be aware of the pressure your child feels.

So when grandparents offer advice will it be taken as interfering? Or is it welcome advice?

At Hush Buddy, we wanted to find out. So we did an informal survey of parents and grandparents on this very issue.

First, we asked from whom they were likely to welcome parenting advice. Far and away, they welcomed advice from their partner and a medical professional. But grandparents aren’t shut out. Your advice is valued more than that of news articles and social media.

You should note, however, that your advice is likely to be welcomed by your own child more than by their partner. Bottom line: a grandparent’s advice is welcomed more than advice from an in-law.

“A grandparent’s advice is welcomed a bit more than you might think, but it’s important to know your audience.”

Next, we asked parents how they feel when you, the grandparent, offer parenting advice. 58% said they were appreciative or open minded about it. But when we asked the same question of grandparents, only 49% said they feel their advice is appreciated.

Meanwhile, just 15% of parents says they feel either insulted or feel intruded upon. But 26% of grandparents feel they insulted and intruded upon their child.

The takeaway here is, grandparent’s advice is welcomed a bit more than you might think, but it’s important to know your audience.

With this as the backdrop, there’s a right and wrong way to offer advice. Some tips:

Listen. Start by asking questions. Listen to the answers. Find out if they feel they need help, or do they feel they’re handling it well on their own?

Wait to be asked. When you’re asking them questions, if they don’t ask for your help, it might be time to take the hint.

Be humble about your experience. You know, if you’re realistic about it, you faced challenges as a parent too, and probably fell short plenty of times. We all do! Share the feelings of frustration you felt and the times you failed. Even if advice still isn’t sought, you’ll build the bond from one slightly older parent to another.

Admit if you don’t have the answer. But offer to help find an answer if asked. Too often, we jump to “Here’s what you should do”. Try “You’re so busy. I can look into that for you if that would help” instead.

If they agree some help researching a solution might be nice, you could point them to our bedtime overview How to Get Your Toddler to Sleep. If you see that your grandchild won’t stay in their own bed, you could share our tips to Help Your Toddler Sleep Through the Night. And if they think their child is having a temporary setback, we have some advice about Sleep Regression that might be helpful.

Grandparenting is a delight, and a challenge. By listening and empathizing about the challenges of parenting, you can help both your child and grandchild while making your bond even stronger!

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I Am Your Toddler’s Brain at Bedtime

admin — Fri, 19 Feb 2021 00:32:40 +0000

I Am Your Toddler's Brain at Bedtime

An inside look at your 2 year old at bedtime.

By SCOTT HANSON

Hi. Your child’s brain here. Bedtime, you say? Let’s get something straight. If I don’t sleep, nobody sleeps, capeesh?

So this can go easy, or this can go hard. Your choice. There are some things I require.

Number one, I am a creature of habit. I like it when things are the same night after night. So, you want me to calm down? Fine. I need the same things at the same time every night. EVERY night. So if you want me to go to sleep by myself without you there, don’t lay down with me “sometimes”. I don’t do “sometimes”.

Number two, if something’s around me when I go to sleep, I tend to think I NEED that thing so I can fall asleep EVERY night. It might be my stuffed animal, my blanket, or you. And if it IS you, you’re in for a long night because…

“This can go easy, or this can go hard. Your choice. There are some things I require.”

Number three, when I wake up in the middle of the night, I look around to see if all of those things I require are still there. If anything’s different, here come the waterworks. Maybe my stuffed animal fell on the floor. You’re going to hear about it until everything’s put right again.

Which means if I’m used to you laying down with me, or letting me fall asleep in your bed, well, we’ll need to do those things all over again for me to get to sleep again.

And number four, if I get in the habit of falling asleep quickly on my own at the BEGINNING of the night, I won’t make a ruckus in the MIDDLE of the night. I’ll just fall back to sleep. Yes, there are steps you can take to make that happen! So those parties we’ve been having at 2:30 and 4:30 every the morning will be just happy memories. Good times.

Now you come to me with this Hush Buddy. I think we can be friends. It provides me with something I like very much which is some light in my room. And after that story you read to me about it, I feel even closer to my glowing associate. I know as long as I’m quiet, it will deliver the goods light-wise. So don’t be alarmed if I scream a little less for you at bedtime. My Hush Buddy friend doesn’t like when I do that.

One last thing. The more sleep I get now, the better I’ll develop and the healthier I’ll be on through my school years. So perhaps you, me and my Hush Buddy are in for a long and beautiful relationship.

See you at bed time, bubby.

Sincerely,
Your Child’s Brain

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How to Make A Good Bedtime A Habit for Your Toddler

admin — Tue, 02 Feb 2021 04:03:32 +0000

How to Make Good Toddler Sleep a Habit

Your 2 year old will respond to these three ingredients.

By SCOTT HANSON

Dr. Craig Canapari has the kind of voice you’d expect from a doctor who works to help kids sleep better. It’s youthful, friendly, approachable and knowledgeable.

Dr. Canapari directs the Yale Pediatric Sleep Center, and we at Hush Buddy have called on him periodically for insights.

We spoke with him recently about sleep disorders, and what goes into changing bedtime behavior and how to get your toddler to sleep. What he told us will change the way you view your child when you struggle at bedtime.

“Frustrating as it is, parents, you can’t control the child’s behavior. But you CAN change the cue, or the consequence, or both.”

THE 3 INGREDIENTS THAT MAKE A HABIT

Dr. Canapari told us there are three parts to a habit:

The Cue: For a toddler who struggles to go to sleep, the cue could simply be bedtime itself
The Behavior: Often, this is the child choosing to crying and melt down
The Consequence: This is how you as the parent react to the behavior—ignore it, lay down with them, bring them to your bed, whatever.

Frustrating as it is, parents, you can’t control the child’s behavior. You can’t MAKE them not cry. But Dr. Canapari points out, you CAN change the cue, or the consequence, or both.

As we told him about our success testing the Hush Buddy sleep system with families, he pointed out Hush Buddy is changing two of the three ingredients of a habit.

First, our bedtime story, the arrival of Whisper the Hush Buddy, and the bedtime routine we recommend for parents changes the dynamic of bedtime for the toddler. It changes the cue.

Then, the Hush Buddy device itself changes the consequences of the behavior by dimming briefly (to about half brightness) if the child cries or makes a ruckus. Most kids want more light in their room, not less. So calm quiet behavior has a very positive consequence it didn’t have before.

If you’d like to read more about the science of changing behavior and habits, by all means check out this article on Dr. Canapari’s blog.

As for us, we are so excited to be bringing a science-based sleep solution to help toddlers get more precious, healthy sleep.

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Sleep Regression

admin — Mon, 25 Jan 2021 18:57:11 +0000

Sleep Regression

4 steps to take when you suspect a sleep regression

By SCOTT HANSON

You may have heard doctors say there’s no evidence sleep regression in children is really a thing. As the father of twins, I’ve seen it.

That child you know SO well is making sleeping like a champ, and then suddenly seems to slide backwards– fussing and coming out of their room over and over. It’s baffling.

One note of hope: I remember our pediatrician telling me that any regression—whether it involves speech, motor skills or sleep— is short lived (a week or two) and occurs right before a child makes a leap forward in that same department. Sure enough, that’s what I saw with my twins.

But if a parent doesn’t handle sleep regression correctly, that temporary setback could become a long term bad habit. And NOBODY benefits from that.

“The risk is making a short term sleep regression into a long term behavior.”

Here are 4 ways to handle sleep regression:

4 WAY TO HANDLE SLEEP REGRESSION

1. Rule oUT A MEDICAL CAUSE FOR THE SLEEP REGRESSION

Perhaps your little one is cutting a new tooth, or has an ear infection. Those would disrupt anyone’s sleep! Most parents pick up on those issues quickly, but it’s worth mentioning. If it seems there’s no physical problem causing it all then…

2. DOUBLE DOWN ON YOUR HEALTHY BEDTIME ROUTINE

Perhaps your child is backsliding because you’ve gotten a little loose with the bedtime structure. Maybe you started laying down with them, and now they associate YOU with their ability to go to sleep, so they seek you out.

See our post How to Get Your Toddler to Sleep for best practices that may have gotten a little rusty. Doubling down on a good, consistent bedtime routine is the best single step you can take.

3. Reassess how many hours your child should sleep

It’s possible your toddler has simply outgrown their sleep schedule. A newborn can (and should) sleep 16 hours a day. By 6 months, 14 hours is more the norm. Toddlers age 2 to 4 need 12 hour minimum. So perhaps your expectations are set too high.

Bedtime fading is a great technique to nail down your child’s sleep needs and what their optimal sleep hours are. Read about bedtime fading here.

Keep in mind that children from 18 to 24 months of age typically shift from a morning nap to an afternoon nap. And kiddos who are 2 to 4 often give up naps altogether.

4. Don’t reinforce the bad behavior

This is the HARDEST thing to do in the middle of the night, but if you give in and start welcoming your toddler into your bed at night, you risk making a short term sleep regression into a long term behavior.

So if they wake you up, silently lead them back to their room with little or no physical contact. With two parents, you both may need to make the trip. Maybe a dozen times. It feels insane, but they will understand you can outlast them.

Be firm in your expectation. After all, if they used to sleep through the night, they can again.

Helping your child stay in their own bed is such a common problem, we’ve written a whole article about it.

Sleep regression can be an exhausting bump in the road. But if handled correctly, it can be a short step backward, before charging ahead to more healthful sleep.

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Help Your Toddler Sleep Through The Night

admin — Sun, 24 Jan 2021 15:28:23 +0000

Help Your Toddler Stay in Their Own Bed

These 4 steps can help your toddler stay in their room all night

By SCOTT HANSON

You’ve finally gotten to sleep. You’re even dreaming. But, something’s not right. You sense a presence. You crack open one eye and..

AAAAARRRGGHHHHHH!!!

Your toddler is RIGHT there. Out of bed again. Climbing in with you.

Those middle of the night wakings are depriving you and your child of sleep. So it’s time to fix things. Because it doesn’t have to be that way.

“I love when my toddler gets out of bed multiple times in the middle of the night”

-NO MOM EVER

4 TIPS TO HELP TODDLERS SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT

As the inventors of Hush Buddy, we hear from many parents who were struggling to get their kids to sleep through the night. So, here are a few tips with a proven, science-based track record.

Focus on the BEGINNING of the night: If your toddler can fall asleep independently at the beginning of the night, they can do the same thing when they wake up in the middle of the night. Check out our advice about getting your toddler to sleep.
Know what they’re looking for: Toddlers often have a “sleep checklist”. It’s a list of things they feel they NEED to go to sleep. The things on this list are called “transitional objects”– often a stuffed animal or a blanket. The trouble is, parents often make themselves transitional objects. So if you’re in the habit of lying down with your child while they go to sleep, your toddler may think that they need you in order to fall asleep. Therefore, when they wake up in the middle of night and run their checklist, they notice that you’re missing. So, they come to find you.
Create a consistent routine for independent sleep: Now you understand WHY your child comes to you in the middle of the night. So it’s time to change bedtime so they learn to go to sleep independently. Your goal is to make going to sleep a habit and as automatic as possible. Introducing change like this can be tricky. One way to signal a fresh start is to make a change to their room– even just rearranging the furniture. Your child will start looking for the new patterns of bedtime, so make your move with a new routine. To create a habit, a routine needs to be CONSISTENT– the same time every night, the same way every night. It should always be driving toward your child falling asleep independently.
Create a good environment for sleep: Watch out for battery operated devices that power off after the child has gone to sleep. Think about it. If the room looks and sounds one way when the child falls asleep, but is different when they wake up, that’s inconsistent. SO many things are missing from their checklist! It can lead to a visit to good old mom and dad.

We often hear parents who are using the Hush Buddy Sleep System report that their toddler began staying in their bed all night when they began using the system. They seem surprised, since Hush Buddy’s primary goal is to help a toddler learn to go to sleep quickly and quietly. But in fact, Whisper, the Hush Buddy is designed to be a transitional object, and one that doesn’t power down after the child goes to sleep. That consistency teaches an important life skill– how to go to sleep independently at the beginning of the night– and in the middle of the night!

And mom and dad can get some sleep too!

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The post Help Your Toddler Sleep Through The Night appeared first on Hush Buddy.